We Belong Dead – Special Scares that Care Edition

Hey there loyal listeners! This week Lono and Ian change things up a bit in preparation for Scares That Care weekend. We go over some news and ramble a bit in typical WBD fashion, but then we go on to spend the rest of the episode going over what’s coming up this weekend. We go over events, guest lists, and just some general ideas for how to get YOU involved at the con. With some cool tunes thrown in for good measure of course. Have any contest ideas for us at the con? Are you gonna be there and wanna know how to track your favorite heroic hosts at the event? Drop us a line at webelongdeadpod@gmail.com and let us know!

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We Belong Dead #14

In this week’s episode of We Belong Dead, we reveal some big news because WE’RE DOING A LIVE PANEL SHOW AT SCARES THAT CARE!!! WOOOOO!!!……ahem… We also get almost as excited as that as we geek out over the newly released Ash Vs. Evil Dead trailer (seriously, this looks perfect) and go over some other horror news as well. And to keep that AvsED train rolling, our director spotlight is on none other than Mr. Sam Raimi. We then proceed to recast the fantastic In the Mouth of Madness, Lono discusses his twisted summer flick pick, we play some groovy tunes, and then wrap up the show with one of the best movie pitches to date. And the pitch is orchestrated by none other than Mr. Modern Goldilocks himself – Lono! No, really! And don’t forget, if you wanna send some ideas for the con or just general ramblings our way shoot it over to us at webelongdeadpod@gmail.com “So I watched The Incredible Mr. Feebs last night.” – Ian

“Goddamn it.” -Lono

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Radio L.O.N.O. #9

Back from the seemingly dead, here, at long last, is a fresh, and I mean “fresh” episode of that wacked-out wonder you just can’t keep outta yer ears, RADIO: LONO returns!!! The nearly lost “Drunk Episode” is now yers, in all it’s scattershot glory!

Joining Lono in the studio is the oft mentioned, sexy wild woman of West Virginia, Pistol! Who knows how crazy it gets, how belligerent Lono becomes, or how much damage has been done to the general public by letting this one escape! Seriously, we got pretty stinkin’ drunk, so hopefully this is a fun one for you guys, too!

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We Belong Dead #13

Is 13 truly unlucky? Or is that all just a big ol pile of horse shit? Find out today on the newest episode of We Belong Dead!

This week we go over some horror news, pimp out Shudder.com, do a long overdue director spotlight on John Carpenter. Then we recast the fantastic vampire flick Near Dark. And we end with Ian’s first utter failure with a movie pitch. We’re talking Lono’s Goldilocks bad here people.

All that and more on this week’s We Belong Dead! And reach out to is at webelongdeadpod@gmail.com

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We Belong Dead #12

Once again our intrepid hosts are forced to being an episode by paying tribute to another great lost force in the genre, Art Weingertner himself, the awesome Rick Ducommun. Further along in this trip, Lono reveals his classy invitation to help beta test AMC’s streaming horror service, SHUDDER! Ian forces Lono to borrow a werewolf film starring Mario Van Peebles! With his music choice this week, Ian opens many Doors while bringing out early-mid 90’s band impressions from Lono! We actually have a slew of horror news (and Ian explains exactly what a “slew” entails)! Our director spotlight this week is the inimitable Brian Yuzna (and Lono brings a lot of love to frequent Yuzna collaborator, and too often overlooked artist, Screaming Mad George!). Lono then kicks off our summer horror trailers with a great Corman classic. Our heroes try our best to sidestep racism while re-cast Big Trouble in Little China! What would Alan Moore sound like when singing “Aqualung” at karaoke? Find out here! Lono unleashes Unknown Hinson on the listeners, and at LONG LAST has a pretty damned good pitch to Ian, with many twists, turns,and a great Rob Zombie tune no one knows! The boys wrap things up by reading waaay too many of their own tweets (sorry!) and encourage you all, as always, to send us yer salt! Trailer requests, FMK games, Critiques, Desires, and all that other junk, throw it all over to webelongdeadpod@gmail.com and, of course, 1000 thank yous for listening!

“And as always…what am I doing?” -Lono

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Dispatches from the Weird S06E03

In this episode we discuss the current gay marriage situation and the rebel flag goings-ons.  And Nathan Potatoe and Kerras get down on some Minotaur Mage dungeon action.

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We Belong Dead #11

We kick off this episode with the unfortunate tradition of spotlighting a horror film titan who has left us while leaving behind a great body of work. This week the great Sir Christopher Lee has passed on and we spend some time celebrating his career.

Then we move on to brighter topics by doing a director spotlight on the often disregarded but nonetheless talented Jeff Burr, recast the fantastically grotesque Dead Alive, and then Ian gets Lono all aflutter with his pitch for Re-Animator 4.

All this and more on this week’s We Belong Dead. And give us a shout at webelongdeadpod@gmail.com

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The Braincell #1

Lock your brain in the cell with Joe, and his friends as they discuss different topics that may include; metal and punk music, good movies, awesome comics, horror, and crazy life events that will either make you laugh or simply piss you off. So grab your favorite beverage or smoke of choice and tune in to this chaos…

Joining Joe on this premiere episode is Podcast Mogul & Founder of Church of the Holy Weirdo, Lono Mojo!!!

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We Belong Dead #10

Get ready to feast your ear holes on another heaping serving of We Belong Dead!

This week we get hyped for Scares That Care, do a director spotlight on Rob Zombie (fuck you, he’s awesome), and finish off our recast of the Clive Barker trifecta with Nightbreed! We also bring you some groovy tunes and cap off the show with a really interesting pitch by the one and only Lono.

Also, don’t forget to reach out to us at webelongdeadpod@gmail.com

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We Belong Dead #9

Hi ho kiddies! Get ready for another twisted episode of We Belong Dead!

This week we start things off by going over quite a bit of horror news for once! Crazy right? We’ve got quite a bit of cool stuff headed your way with a director spotlight on Guillermo del Toro (of Hellboy 2 fame, natch), we recast part two of our three part Barker movie streak with Lord of Illusions, and then we cap it off with a movie pitch of epic proportions. So sit back, relax, and enjoy!

And don’t think I’ve forgotten about listener feedback! I’m gonna keep tellin ya until it’s drilled into your thick little skulls, but you can reach us at webelongdeadpod@gmail.com. SO DO IT ALREADY!!!

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Dispatches from the Weird s06e02

In this triumphant return of Dispatches from the Weird we crank out some more epic D&Dness with the help of Ian from the podcasts “We belong Dead” and “RIJCAST”.

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We Belong Dead #8

Hold onto your hats kiddies, we’ve got a special episode for ya! This week we have our first (technically returning) special guest as Jake from RIJcast stops by to discuss his newly acquired horror expertise.

Jake took on the monumental task of burning through every Friday the 13th flick for the first time ever (yes, even that one) and we go through them all with him to do a play by play analysis. Then we go through the other flicks that Ian made Jake watch a’la A Clockwork Orange. Next we all recast a flick that’s near and dear to all of our hearts, the Clive Barker classic Hellraiser. Then we wrap up by having our oh so special guest give us the grooviest horror pitch to date!

So enjoy the show and for the love of god send us some feedback at webelongdeadpod@gmail.com before Lono has a mental breakdown. Trust me, that won’t end well for any of us.

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We Belong Dead #7

Join us on this episode of We Belong Dead as your faithful hosts Lono and Ian realize that they’re officially old as hell. That’s ok though, because we’re moving closer and closer to Crypt Keeper status!

This week we talk about live panel shows, discuss horror legend Malcolm McDowell for a bit, and get into some projects that we are (tentatively) stoked about. We also do a director spotlight on Stuart Gordon and cap it off with the most unintentionally hilarious movie pitch to date.

We hope you enjoy and reach out to us at webelongdeadpod@gmail.com

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We Belong Dead #6

We Belong Dead #6

Welcome back to another episode of We Belong Dead, the podcast your momma warned you about. We’ve got some real treats for you this week as Ian makes his triumphant medicated return while he and Lono tackle the big issues. We get into some news before we spotlight a director who had a huge impact on our childhoods, and follow it up with a recast for the best werewolf movie of all time (no, not Wolf Cop). Then we cap it all off with Ian’s movie pitch of the week with some…interesting casting choices. All that and more on this week’s We Belong Dead.

And don’t forget to reach out to us at webelongdeadpod@gmail.com! There could be something in it for ya.

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Dispatches from the Weird s06e01

The triumphant return of Dispatches from the Weird is here.  Brand new season.  Brand new chaos.  In this episode we break in the new podcasting studio, we try to explain, once again, WHY this is a brand new season of DFTW.  We discuss racially charged issues, the awesomeness of George Takei, and the sexiness of 50 shades of Modok.  We’re also joined by VARIOUS celebrity guests!  So enjoy this Alaskan thunderfuck-fueled season kickoff episode.

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We Belong Dead #5

Welcome to an all new and frightful episode of We Belong Dead!

This week, your horror hosts take on all kinds of spooky subjects! We’ve got news, we’ve got reviews, we’ve got seasonally appropriate movie viewings. Next, this episode has one of the best horror recasts to date as we tackle a seminal (as in “strong” and “influential”, not the other one) horror cinema classic. Then to top it all off, Lono pitches a film that gets Ian all aflutter. All this and more on Episode 5 of We Belong Dead!

And don’t forget to give us some feedback at webelongdeadpod@gmail.com . We love that shit.

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Dispatches from the Weird s06e0

Consider this a preview of things to come from the NEW season of Dispatches from the Weird.  Season 6…COMING SOON.

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We Belong Dead #4

Welcome back to a new and frightful edition of We Belong Dead!

In Episode 4, we delve into a smorgasbord of horror delights! We talk horror news including some new (if somewhat disappointing) footage from a beloved flick, some upcoming releases, and just general horror headlines. Next up is a regrettable recast that leaves both Lono and Ian feeling dirty and ashamed. And to top it off, we end with an original movie pitch that’s…well, it’s actually pretty damn good.

Like the show? Love it? Loathe it? Let us know by sending us some feedback via webelongdeadpod@gmail.com

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We Belong Dead #3

When last we left our horrendous heroes, Lono and Ian were mapping out part 2 of their trek through all that is grotesque for their 31 Days of Horror!

In this week’s episode, in as timely and topical a fashion as ever, we go through what we consider to be the best and most important horror milestones of 2014. We talk movies, TV, books, and all kinds of other horror projects to delight your putrid little minds! And to top it all off, we do a recast for one of our favorite horror movies of all time.

Anything we missed for the year? Wanna send us some general feedback? Write us a review on iTunes or shoot us an email at webelongdeadpod@gmail.com

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We Belong Dead #2 Part 2

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At long last we can all rejoice as Lono has decided to FINALLY release episode 2 part 2 of his ongoing horror-chat journey, We Belong Dead! In this extra saucy 2-parter, Lono and his trusty co-pilot Ian sift thru the 62 films they gorged on throughout the wicked month of Oct, way back in 2014! Were any of your picks on their lists? Plug this delicious little tart of a podcast into yer deviant little brain and find out! Long-winded AND pretentious? Always.

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Dispatches from the Weird s05e29

In this special EXTRA LONG episode of Dispatches from the weird we take a hit to our electrical systems in a surpise attack that was probably launched by ISIS.  But we recover and we prep Richie the noob for his grand foray in to the world that is Dungeons and Dragons.  Join Nathan Potatoe the sorcerer and Kerras the drunken dwarven cleric as they stumble in to their first level 1 adventure in the Tomb of the Minotaur!

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We Belong Dead #2

At long last we can all rejoice as Lono has decided to FINALLY release episode 2 of his ongoing horror-chat journey, We Belong Dead! In this extra saucy 2-parter, Lono and his trusty co-pilot Ian sift thru the 62 films they gorged on throughout the wicked month of Oct, way back in 2014! Were any of your picks on their lists? Plug this delicious little tart of a podcast into yer deviant little brain and find out! Long-winded AND pretentious? Always.

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Dispatches from the Weird s05e28

In this episode we discuss the carney-like origins of the Church of Satan, where Lou Bega currently is in his career, proper etiquette when stealing money, and how much Ben learned about himself at the local Pokemon trading card game tournaments.  We also play a new improv game called “Rory’s story cubes.”

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Dispatches from the Weird s05e27

Aaron and Ben forget what podcast they’re on and keep trying to derail the conversation with geeky shit. Richie finally watched Guardians of the Galaxy and gives his thoughts. Ben gives dishes on his negative experience watching TUSK, and we talk about what REAL podcasting is. Listen. Tell your friends. Share, like, repost. We ARE groot.

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Dispatches from the Weird s05e26

In this special Semi-lost episode of Dispatches from the Weird Ben explains to Richie how awesome Gaston from Beauty and the Beast is.  They also flip out over how awesome the title tracks for both the animated and live action Robin Hood movies are.  Ben explains how he catfished a bunch of online rpg’ers.  Also, HOT BUTTON returns.

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Dispatches from the Weird s05e25

This podcast just had its insurance rates drop.  Thats right.  Episode twenty five!  We delve in to some serious talk at first, breakign it down in to some real, real shit.  It gets slightly depressing, but also slightly uplifting.  It was necessary.  It won’t make you cry.  But it also wont make you feel good.  Or will it?  Richie also explains his recent journey in to the world of witchraft and wizardry where he watched all 8 Harry Potter movies in a single weekend for the first time.  His thoughts in this pod!  Also, we tackle some HOT BUTTON current events that we have no real interest in.  Check it out.  Easily Cael Donk’s favorite episode of Dispatches from the Weird.

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Streamatorium “The Blob Remake”

Happy Halloween, you nasty bastards.  Ben and Richie pop out an epic piece of podcast gold in this special, annual, sexual, Halloween SPOOKFUCKULAR!  The blob remake is watched and discussed at full length.  Gooey blob bits devouring fleshy bodies.  Mocking Jay doritos are devoured by Ben at blob-like speeds.  Richie defends rambunctious, destructive teens.  And a special visit from a Midjun Vampire!

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Dispatches from the Weird s05e24

Special guests up in this episode!  We are joined by special guest Ian from Rijcast, and studio audience Pink Ranger.  Ben details his experiences at a basement tatoo party.  Richie is introduced to the glory of Midi files.  Ben cries about his beard envy, and the Ghostbusters Midi file trivia game is played.  This time around the prize is evil.  Evil beyond evil.

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Conversations with the Weird “Joe Whiteford of Harley Poe returns”

In the shadowy distance, under a crimson red moon, the rebellious hollerin’ of 3 warriors approaching echoes. As they trudge along the swampy darkness, leaving in their wake, scorched earth and shattered hearts, the “innocent” among us weep, as the sinners grin in wicked wicked abandon…

No wait…

…oh damn.

#KokomoDrifter

That’s my bad. Turns out Lono’s ridiculously stoned, Ben finally speaks on CwtW (about one of his favorite subjects, CUSTOM TOYS!), and Joe Whiteford remains his cool and hilarious self as…

HARLEY (MUTHAFUCKIN’) POE RETURNS AS THE FIRST EVA 2-TIME GUEST!!!

The multi-faceted Joe Whiteword once again graces us with his enigmatic presence, and delivers ALL the upcoming news about Harley Poe, his bad-ass custom figure and sculpting ventures, and most things in-between! But more than that, this is a fun, rambling, silly, goofy and sexy as fuck podcast with 3 pals talking about movies, music, art, and giving each other enough proverbial shit to start a proverbial shit FACTORY!

So crank up yer copy of Pagan Holiday, roll up a #, and come chill with yer 3 beasties, Lono, Ben, and Joe!

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Dispatches from the Weird s05e23

In this episode we are joined by the infamous Walt Winfrey, champion of nipple clamps, who helps us jump through the podcast hoops of peril as we discuss such great topics as depression, the death of Rob Williams, Ice bucket challenges, chip clips on dicks, and the underground culture growing behind the e-cigarette.  We also play the newly re-named “Vince McMahon You’re fired Trivia Game”.

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Dispatches from the Weird s05e22

Love keeps us together in this episode as frequent contributer Aaron joins us for this night’s debauchery.  Lono reviews the new horror app sensation called “The Crypt”.  We discuss the horror and terror of finding snakes.  Lono lists all the many times he’s seen naked black people.  And we geek out over the Dune move that never was.  So kick back and listen to this sexy piece of podcast ass.  Who knows…maybe you’ll get lucky.

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We Belong Dead #1

WE BELONG DEAD: Ep. 1

At long last, the maiden voyage of a podcast series 36 years in the making, lifelong horror-geek and self-proclaimed small-town podcast mogul, Lono, now unearths for the masses his first ever horror-ONLY podcast, “We Belong Dead”!!! Taking on a new co-pilot every show, Lono will guide you through the good, the bad, the bad-good,the bad-bad and the “seriously this is not good” of horror news, upcoming releases in film, home video, literature, art, music and even the occasional game! But he doesn’t stop there, adding in well-crafted, artisan top 3 questions, musical interludes, and macabre games, the sinister Lord Lono strives to make this truly a horror podcast FOR the Horror geeks BY the horror geeks! Episode 1’s co-pilot is a seasoned horror fan you know and love from RIJcast, and Episode ? of Radio: LONO, it is none other than the Mighty Ian!!!
As with every maiden voyage (as proven by the abysmal Ep. 1 of Radio: LONO!), this is where we find our groove, and get a grip on what needs to be improved and even excised from future shows. In other words, this is Lono way too stoned, rambling nervously, working out kinks! But hey it’s ep. 1, RAW and SQUISHY!

So come on in, and we will to!

ENJOY!

And raise a glass “to a new world of gods and monsters!”

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Dispatches from the Weird s05e21

In this episode we ask you tome come sail away with us to another world were we can rely on eachother. Uh huh. From one corner to another. Uh huh. We also discuss the rappings of former rapper Pras, and the cookie monster-like rhymes of the late great Ol’ Dirty Bastard. Lono calls out pregnant women for being lazy. Ben questions the proper amount of spooge to spooge. We also discuss just how doctors go about making Vaginas. Listen and enjoy.

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Radio L.O.N.O. #8

You know him…you tolerate him…And now he’s in the studio with Lono, spinning some of his own favorite tracks to get all you sinners shakin’ and squealin’!!! That’s right, this week the infrequent Carl joins Lono to co-pilot you through the grime and muck that makes up the music we here in the bunker just can’t live without! All yer favorite staples are here INCLUDING a sing-a-long, as Carl proves that he is FAR more brave than Ian as he joins Lono in belting out a number or two! Again the track list for this week’s soundtrack is being kept in the vault, but I promise it is both cheesy AND fantastic! So crank up yer device, pop yer buds in and feast on some rambling and some damned fine tunes found ONLY right here on Radio: LONO!

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Dispatches from the Weird s05e20

Joined by special guest Sugah Pink we bailamos through the fields of weird as Ben dusts off his microphone and briefly comes out of rap retirement.  It gets even weirder as Lono shows off his new butt plug/marijuana pipe and Ben describes his experiences being discriminated against for being fat at a chocolate themed amusement park. Ben also defends his Juggalo themed wardrobe and Lono describes his recent con experiences with the dude from the beginning of Ghostbusters.  We also sort of stir up controversy as we defend an alleged destroyer of freedom.

Dispatches from the Weird.  Spread it on.

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Radio L.O.N.O. #7

This MAY be be most amazing episode of Radio: L.O.N.O. yet! Or maybe not, I guess that’s really up to you. But hey, yer old pal Lono is back on a solo flight this week, to crash each and every one of you into the land of misfit, kick-ass tunes! NO playlist included on this one, but rest assured all yer favorite surprises and gimmicks are here, from Lono’s patented “Song to Fuck To” to one helluva fun sing-a-long! So quit dickin’ around, warm up yer earholes, and stick in a heapin’ helpin’ of everyone’s favorite sleazy, rock-n-roll monster, LONO!!!
Fire it up!

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Conversations with the Weird “Pat Healy”

He’s in everything from “Captain America: Winter Soldier” to “Ghost World”!!!

That’s right, actor, writer, director, stand-up comedian, all around raconteur and helluva nice guy, Pat Healy gave up an hour of his busy schedule to ramble with us in the latest installment on CWtW! I tried not to gush too much about my love affair with “The Innkeepers” (and my crush on Sarah Paxton!), but he happily chats with us about it, and gives up a great story (that as far as I know, you will ONLY find right here at CotHW!) about David Koechner on the set of “Cheap Thrills”, his latest, must-see performance which is now available on DVD and Blu-ray! We discuss our mutual love of Scorcese’s brilliant “King of Comedy”, Pat tosses a few new bands out for the congregation to check out, along with a few of his favorite films. We get to hear about his short film, “Mullit”, what is on the horizon for his ever-rising career, and we finally get an answer to the age-old question…

“Will Pat Healy co-star in the soon to be Lono-penned and directed sequel to “Cast A Deadly Spell”, playing opposite Jeffrey Combs as feuding supernatural private investigators in a Lovecraftian Landscape!”? Ya know…that age-old question…:P

I dream, I dream…Anyway, aside from a few pesky drop-outs in the audio (thank you Skype!), Pat is an absolute blast to hear, a wealth of knowledge, and a guy you’d just love to have a drink with. So kick on back, relax, and let Lono & Mr. Healy invade your dirty little earholes…

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Streamatorium “Flash Gordon”

In this epic and colorful episode of Streamatorium we pop in the 80’s cult classic FLASH GORDON.  We discuss the campy-ness, ridiculous amount of color, funny hats, way too elaborate costumes, and legitimate acting skills of Ming the Merciless.  We also pick apart what little Ben remembers of the 70’s porn parody Flesh Gordon, and Lono constantly has to remind Ben that we don’t know how the Flash Gordon universe works.  So sit back, pop in your copy of Flash Gordon and enjoy the chaos while we fly blind on a rocket cycle through the delicious and terrible Flash Gordon!

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Radio L.O.N.O. #6 Part 2

Finishing the saga with a bang, we proudly post for you the epic ending of this colossal 2-part extravaganza featuring guest DJ and manly man, Ian, from our pals over at RIJcast. How does it end? Well, here’s a hint…sticky and slightly explosive! Again the playlist for this episode is being kept secret in the catacombs of CotHW headquarters so you’ll just have to stick it in yer ear and find out what tunes Ian and Lono chose for you greedy beauties to devour!

ENJOY!
-Lono

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Radio L.O.N.O. #6 Part 1

Radio: LONO Episode 6 PART 1!!!

Strange rumblings from the swamps surrounding the studio-crypt can only mean one thing…Lono has brought in a special guest DJ for this episode of Radio: LONO, and boy howdy is it ever a good one! RIJcast’s own rugged, yet cuddly badass, Ian, takes the co-pilot seat this week in an episode SO BIG we had to split it up into 2-parts! You don’t want to miss this legendary episode where at long-last it isn’t just Lono’s picks and I’ll tell ya, Ian brought the thunder! Some damned fine tunes and some damned fun chit-chat make this thing a must listen! So kick on back and fill yer ears with this, the latest, and possibly greatest episode of the award-seeking Radio: LONO!

We are keeping the tracklist completely secret for this one, I believe you will be pleasantly surprised…

But I promise, all yer favorite staples are here, the patented “Lono’s Good Song to Fuck To”, all the rest and even an almost sing-along are represented! So stick it in yer ear and prepare to repent!

-Lono

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Dispatches from the Weird s05e19

The Kingdom of Chaos is under siege.  Enemies at the left flank with their giant wolf shaped battering ram and the King is deep in thought trying to figure out a synonym for “overthrown”  This epic is chaos…chaos that has been mastered in to a glorious MP3 file for you to listen to.   Carl break his hermetic streak and actually shows up for once.   Lono says his farewells as this is once again his farewell episode.  Ben discusses his unholy love for Godzilla and hatred for Godzooky.  Short Circuit 2 is discussed for far too long.  And we do a breakdown of someone else’s silly rankings of best and worst super villains.

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Radio L.O.N.O. #5

“…it comes out of the Virginia swamps cool and slow, with a backbeat narrow and hard to master.”  Or some such shit. Gettin’ a little better every damned time, Lono is back with some looney tunes for yer sinful little earholes! What happens when Lono invites booze into the mix? A whole lotta somethin’, probably, right? Stick this thing in yer ear and find out fer sure! This episode marks the (triumphant?) return of the SING-A-LONG w/ Lono segment, and of course yer humble host spins another in the weekly-growing playlist called “Good songs to fuck to!”, all the rest of yer favorite wackiness seems to gel a bit more here in the triumphant…EPISODE 5!!!

Tracks include:

“Death Trip”- Bad Livers

“Roman Gods”- The Fleshtones

“I Dig You”- Boss Hog

“Don’t Laugh (I Love You)”- Ween

“Candy”- PotUSA

“”Death of Me”- Dex Romweber Duo

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Dispatches from the Weird s05e18

In this special re-union episode of Dispatches from the Weird Ben reminisces his rave experiences, we discuss as seen on TV pocket watches and contact juggling kits, we give props to Quick Kick…the BEST FUCKING GI JOE EVER, Ben’s Asian heritage it put in question, and we discuss the top twenty weirdest fetishes and how we rate them on the weird/creepy/sexy meter.

So pop this episode in your you podcast listening machine and get ready to set sail on the Weirdo sea…because in this episode…we talk about Tree fuckin’.

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Radio L.O.N.O. #4

My apologies for the delay.  Had some severe hard drive crashes.  But finally got the computer working again!

Fresh as a damned daisy it’s here! Ep. 4 of Radio: L.O.N.O. “Springtime For Lono!” Held within the 2 hours you’ll get to hear some of Lono’s picks of fantastic music for Spring! From the sleazy to the greasy, he’s workin’ hard to get yer toes tappin’ and yer brain explodin’! Ever-present are the wacky ramblings and deep truths you’ve come to both love and shudder at poppin’ right outta Lono’s grimy mind only to swim around in yer lovely earholes! As always, this ep. features yer favorite staples from the weekly “song to get naked and dance to as though no one can see you” to Lono’s long-running “music to fuck to”! It may be Spring, but that does nothing to ease the insanity and fantastic style of the one and only Radio: LONO!

FEATURED IN THIS EPISODE:

“Pack Up”- Eliza Doolittle

“Ballad of Jim Jones”- Brian Jonestown Massacre

“Birdhouse in Your Soul”- They Might Be Giants

“Guleh/Zombie Queen”- Ghost

“Illegal Smile”- John Prine

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Radio L.O.N.O. #3

From the depths of the Cornwallis Swamps at Weirdo Ranch, oozes the fabulous Ep. 3 of the award-seeking music podcast Radio:L.O.N.O. In the wee hours of the morning, Dispatches Studios get taken hostage by Col. Lono, and for 2 hours he takes us all on a melodic and greasy aural journey thru his very own madcap brain, providing a killer soundtrack and manic rants to brighten the day of you and yers! Seems the show gets a little less awkward as we sally forth on this voyage, so stick in in yer ear and enjoy…

27 tracks are featured in this episode, including:

“Start Wearing Purple” – Gogol Bordello

“Want It Back”- Amanda Palmer

“I’m the Urban Spaceman”- Bonzo Dog Band

“Debauchery”- David Gray

“(I’m Gonna) Shine Up My Boots” – Corb Lund Band

“Love Yer Brain” – Flaming Lips

“Would You Love a Monsterman?” – Lordi

…and 20 more scorching tracks straight outta the rock-n-Roll hell of Col. Lono’s deranged little mind!

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Radio L.O.N.O. #2

In an ASTOUNDING improvement from our pilot episode, this podcast finds our host, Lono, in a more comfortable place emotionally, with FAR less pre-game marijuana intake! The levels are pretty spot-on, and the ramblings a bit more coherent. Overall just a big step in finding our stride. So join our founder, Lono, as he guides us down a 2 hour twisted tour of tunes designed to expand, enhance, and explode yer minds! From tracks you know and love, to bizarre little gems you never knew existed, Lono spins 23 songs just for you, and yer black little hearts…

So roll up a number and let Col. Lono into yer ears…

Included in this episode:

-”A Martini Built For 2”- My Life with the Thrill Kill Kult

-”I Never Said I was Deep” – Jarvis Cocker

– Kaw-liga”- Hank Williams

– “She Said”- Jon Spencer Blues Explosion

– “Tie My Pecker to My Leg”- Mojo Nixon

AND MANY STICKY MORE!

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Dispatches from the Weird s05e17

All HELL breaks loose in this chaotic, pointless episode.  We all go in half cocked and come out fully unloaded as Ben wont let the whole biscuit game debacle go, Lono uses his sorcerer-like wizard magic to summon carl out of this air, and Aaron demands we share our deepest darkest fears.  So kick back and listen to the most chaotic podcast we’ve recorded.

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Radio L.O.N.O. “Dave Brockie Tribute”

Well here it is folks. we lost the awesome Dave Brockie (aka: Oderus Urungus), and to us here at CotHW, a spiritual creative influence passed on. Join Lono, and special guest Ben, on this very special edition of Radio: LONO, as two friends chatter on about how Dave Brockie and Gwar influenced them both separately and as the leaders of the Holy Weirdo empire. Dig 12 DBX and Gwar tunes handpicked by us to help blast Oderus back to his home planet in style, in the very open, rather crude, and always explicit way that Dave himself taught us!

We don’t claim to be Gwar scholars, just 2 guys who dig the fuck outta the tunes Dave Brockie gave us in the short time he was here…

Enjoy…

-LONO

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Radio L.O.N.O. Episode 1

Well after weeks of teasing, here it is, the maiden voyage of Radio:LONO!!! It’s what would happen is Lono took over a radio station and was given NO LIMITS for 2 hours. It is very common knowledge that Lono is an unashamed film geek, but few know about his pretentious, emotional, and boundless love of all genres of music! Truth be told this episode is rather awkward, given that Lono smoked way too much reefer and was quite ill-prepared for a solo-hosting gig, but bare with us and as episodes go forward, a stride will be found! Thankfully this is NOT 2 hours of Lono rambling stoned, but does in fact include many, many great songs, request, dedications, sing-alongs and nudity! Some tunes ya know and some you will be happy to now know, Lono spins everything from Type-0 Negative to the Wonders! So, kick back, spark a spliff and do yer best to enjoy the newest addition to the Holy Weirdo PodNetwork, radio: LONO!

Among the great tracks to be found in this episode are:

-”Barracuda” live – Rasputina

-”Robin Hood’- Ocean Colour Scene

– “Damaged Goods”- La Dispute

– “Fuck the Pain Away”- Peaches

-”Big Mistake”- Tim Fite

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Streamatorium “The Stuff”

NO ARTIFICIAL INGREDIENTS!  ENOUGH IS NEVER ENOUGH OF THE STUFF!

In this episode of Streamatorium we watch the 80’s cult classic “The Stuff”!  A tale of horror, tasty deserts, pointless kidnapping, funny accents, and industrial espionage.  The Stuff is a delicious classic that is sure to appeal to your terrible movie taste buds.  So sit back and listen to the the STUFFCAST!

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Dispatches from the Weird s05e16

In this episode Lono goes through his list of great impressions, while also permanently and personally giving away pieces of his trading card childhood.  Ben discusses his recent terrifying overdose experience, and lets Aaron in on the action going on in the underground Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle Action Figure Trading group.  Also the “Mo’ ‘taters, Ma” trivia game is rechristened to the “Mark Gormley” trivia game.

So plug in your Podcast listening device and get ready to have your mind drenched in our weirdo glory.  Let us know what you think!

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Dispatches from the Weird s05e15

In this very special episode of Dispatches from the Weird:

• We discuss how Ice cream cake makes any vagina better.
• We unveil our plans to open the first Frozen Yogurt shop that serves it’s froyo straight from a hooker’s snatch.
• We love on the Lost Skeleton movies.
• We convince Richie to get in to the Cosplay scene.
• The “Mo Taters, Ma” game returns
• We discuss what was the most awkward moment in podcast history.

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Dispatches from the Weird s05e14

In this Dispatch we discuss the governments insane weather dominator, conspiracy theorists, and the great debate between Bill Nye and Ken Ham.  Listen to the ramblings of 3 weirdos and make sure you tell you’re friends you love em.  Truth.

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Dispatches from the Weird s05e13

In this episode we discuss the stupid sexual game known as biscuit, John de Lancie’s involvement in the pony show, cosmetic anal bleaching, and listener questions!

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Streamatorium “Batman ’89”

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Streamatorium “Scrooged”

“I’m alive and so are you!!!”

 Happy Christmas weirdos! Right here, for your listening pleasure is the Streamatorium Holiday Special, where you get to hang out with us, and watch one of the most underrated Christmas classics to ever hit film, Bill Murray’s wonderful “Scrooged”! This, aside from being a great non-family friendly, holiday treat, is also our first podcast using Ben’ brand new, state of the art audio board, so you will be hearing us clearer and more awesome than ever! This podcast also serves as our first venture into a more “commentary” style streamo, Richie honestly knows WAY more about this flick than anyone would have thought, it is both impressive and shocking, ifnot ever so slightly annoying. Ben hadn’t seen “Scrooged” since he was a kid, which made it even more fun to revisit. Richie is truly moved by the last 20 or so minutes of the film and may or may not break down into happy, emotional, cheeba-chew induced tears of joy! You;ll have to listen and find out if this movie actually has the power to melt Lono’s cold, little heart. So, join us, won’t you, as we turn the channel to IBC and watch the film that SHOULD air for 24 hours on TBS every year, and more than anything else, from our greasy little hearts, have a very weird X-mas!

We love you, friends!

-LONO

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Dispatches from the Weird s05e12

In this episode we discuss urinary track infections, we review our most important facebook posts of the year, and Ben discusses how many boners he popped in the Hobbit movie.  Its kind of disturbing.  

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Dispatches from the Weird s05e11

We’re back.  Back from the Thanksgiving holiday.  Back from black friday.  Lono and Ben discuss the monster that is Black Friday, Steve Jobs’ inspirational words, and the bastards that kept us under lockdown.  Lono explains his respect for the late Steve Jobs.  Ben ruins Christmas.  A lono solo version of the “Mo’ Tater’s Ma” game is played.  And Michale Graves.  Download.  Listen.  Enjoy.  Leave feedback.

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Dispatches from the Weird s05e10

Mo Taters, Ma.  Any kind of taters will do.  We’re back after weeks of side projects and special events with an actual DISPATCH from the WEIRD!  Ben explains “Monday Night Rock”, the group discusses their first time medicating, and someone gets a truly creepy and terrifying last place prize in the newly named “Mo Taters” trivia game.   Seriously.  You may stop listening after the prizes are awarded.

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Streamatorium “Ghostbusters”

In this episode of STEAMATORIUM we watch the classic comedy GHOSTBUSTERS.  This podcast can be listened to as a commentary track to GHOSTBUSTERS, OR as a stand-alone pod to enjoy as you go about your day.  Be in the room as your best auditory friends discuss all that is related to ghostbusters and ghostbusting.  We know you’re a fan.  You wouldn’t be on this site if you weren’t.  So download the pod.  Tell your friends.

We’re ready to believe…that you…listened…to this episode.  Just do it.

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Dispatches from the Weird s05e09

Special LOST EPISODE

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Conversations with the Weird “Joe Whiteford of Harley Poe”

Troubadour of the Twisted: Joe Whiteford

Many moons ago I promised you, our adoring fans, an interview with the genius behind Harley Poe. And now, after months of annoying, badgering and begging, you finally get to hear me aurally masturbate the one and only Joe (Goddamned) Whiteford! Writer, artist, singer, guitar-slinger, custom figure paintist, sculptor, confessed geek, cool dad, and all around really open and good guy, Joe puts up with all my silly questions and awkward stammering for about an hour and a half.

Covering everything from the history of HarleyPoe, to the truly killer new album, “Pagan Holiday”, to a glimpse at some future projects that sound more exciting than something really exciting! While we do discuss all kinds of topics and Joe’s many artistic endeavors, the core of this thing is Harley Poe, the band that, in my opinion, is the top of the “horror-rock” chain. You really have to go back to Roky Erickson and Screamin’ Jay Hawkins to find such a unique blend of cultural horror mixed with such a distinct and creative sound, Harley Poe are in a class of their own, cultivating a style second to none, and thankfully they invite us all to the dance! So fire up a #, get naked, and listen to this greasy little gem of an interview, exclusively on “Conversations From the Weird”…

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Conversations with the Weird “Sean Clark of Horror’s Hallowed Grounds”

I first noticed Sean from the bonus features of the great franchise-spanning doc, “Halloween: 25 Years of Terror”, in something I’d never heard of called “Horror’s Hallowed Grounds”. And like so many others I immediately connected with this guy Sean. Here was a horror geek, who like me, wore his love of the genre on his sleeve, he was showing us all the landmark locations used in the filming of John Carpenter’s “Halloween”, it was engaging, hilarious and most of all, genuine. Sean wasn’t talking down to us, he was taking us with him, knowing how much we love the film, and simply chatting with us about the history and trivia of these classic filming locations. With each new filmed “episode” covering a different title, combined with his monthly HHG’s article in the pages of the fantastic Horrorhound magazine, numerous commentary tracks for Scream Factory, his newly released film “Black Waters of Echo’s Pond” and countless convention appearances, Sean Clark has solidified himself as the unofficially elected representative of us, the unwashed masses known as horror geeks! We can’t thank Sean enough for giving us a very entertaining hour and a half out of his jam-packed schedule for this interview. I know you guys are gonna dig it! Find out the sinister truth behind “Halloween: 25 Years of Terror”, Get some damned fine music recommendations from Sean’s personal collection, hear some wonderful and candid stories about the fantastic Jamie Lee Curtis, Sean’s Boondock Saints connection and so much more in this, action-packed 2nd installment of “CONVERSATIONS FROM THE WEIRD”!

Honestly, aside from me again coming off like an idiot, this is a fantastic interview!

List of available episodes of Horror’s Hallowed Grounds and where you can find them:

-Halloween (“Halloween: 25 Years of Terror) -A Nightmare on Elm Street (“Never Sleep Again”) -Halloween II (Scream Factory’s “Halloween II”) -Halloween III (Scream Factory’s “Halloween III”) -The Fog (Scream Factory’s “The Fog”) -The Howling (Scream Facorty’s “The Howling”) -The Fog (Scream Factory’s “The Fog”) coming soon -Prince of Darkness (You guessed it, Scream Factory’s “Prince of Darkness”)

-Lono

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Conversations with the Weird “Michael Felsher”

Welcome one and all to the inaugural episode of the newest member of the Weirdo Corp., “Conversations From the Weird”! With these podcast we will strive to bring you, dear listener, up close and personal with some of the most creative, talented and important people in this weird world of film, writing, music and art. And by god did we snag a humdinger for the first episode…

Like us here at Weirdocorp. headquarters, we know you all love the blu-ray format, the improved sound quality, the pristine transfers (mostly), and above all the special goddamned features! Like us, we know that you too go completely gaga over well produced supplemental material compiled and created by someone you just can feel loves and respects the dark little crevices of filmdom in witch we all strive. WELL, Michael Felsher is the reigning king in this world! His company, Red Shirt Pictures, has been supplying us freaks with the highest quality interviews, commentary tracks, featurettes and full-blown docs for years now, and they are currently, in my opinion, the beating heart of SCREAM FACTORY!

(Seriously, just peruse yer dvd/blu ray collection, or head on over to his site and stare in awe at all the cool stuff this man has been responsible for!)

http://www.redshirtpictures.com/

Michael graciously allowed us a couple of hours to pick his brain, and I’ll be damned if what we got wasn’t some of the most endearing, hilarious and all-around entertaining stories from a man who truly loves what he does and in turn is loved by us, the teeming masses of genre junkies who find him vital in our realm of geekdom! Wanna know something about M. Emmet Walsh you never knew? Wanna find out if Michael took a little “souvenir” from his trip to the original Evil Dead 2 cabin? Care to hear an insider’s thoughts on the future of home entertainment and online streaming?

Of course ya do! So Come on in and JOIN US as we spend a couple hours inside the mind of the talented, the entertaining, the man behind the curtain, Michael Felsher!

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Streamatorum: Re-animator

Welcome to CotHW: THE STREAMATOIRIUM!

Finally an off-kilter, semi-regular spin-off for Dispatches From the Weird. Here for yer listening pleasure are the Holy Weirdo Originals, Ben and Lono, inviting you to kick back, toke up if ya like, and join us while we watch a classic, should-be classic, or never-will-be classic film every episode! Less a commentary track and more an opportunity to hang out and watch a flick with us! Not as informative as a real commentary track and no where near as witty as MST3K, it’s just 2 pals inviting you to join them by cuing up the movie in question and hopefully laughing and cringing yer way thru with us!

This here new format will probably spit out a new episode monthly and will not be limited to only horror, though let’s face it, we LOVE the genre, so there will be a lot of it! And so for this, our maiden voyage we have chosen one of the greats…

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The Rocky Horror Radio Show!

At long last, we may all REJOICE!!! DFtW’s first ever radio play is finally here! Welcome to the Rocky Horror RADIO Show, where we, yer trusted members from CotHW have recorded, for yer listening pleasure, songs and all, our radio play version of Richard O’Brien’s brilliant Rocky Horror Picture Show! I will warn you, I gave us less time to get this thing done than we really needed, and NONE of us are very good at singing, but ya know what…it’s the fun that counts! And this thing was a goddamned blast! So save yer petty judgements and dig this with the spirit on which it was created, Mr. O’Brien’s always resonant mantra “Don’t dream it, be it…” On a personal note I am crazy proud of everyone involved for having the balls to just go for it, I must say I was surprised and impressed! A huge thank you goes out to Will Castle, who was our audio engineer for this little experiment, and to Ben Smith, mi amigo and master editor under so many restraints! Also our undying love and thank you to Mr. Joe Whiteford and his crew for recording for us exclusively, what is the most amazing sounding part of this whole deal, “Science Fiction/Double Feature”…

So pour a drink (to absent friends)
Light up a spliff (in the Zen room!)
And enjoy our raucous little tribute to a real, breathing bit of cult brilliance…

Ladies and gentlemen…

LET THERE BE LIPS!!!

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Dispatches from the Weird s05e08

This is Ben.  Behold!  Episode 8 of our podcast has finally been cleared for public listening by the censoring men in black suits.  It has been uploaded and posted.  Should be available NOW through Itunes.  Or below if you want to stream or save it to your computer machine.  In this fancy episode:

-We discuss the Miley Cyrus situation.

-Ben explains what a real man looks like.

-Lono and Aaron’s knowledge of Insane Clown rappers is put to the test.

-You will hear the continued tale of Dr. Solomon and the legacy of the Honeybutterton family.

So listen!  Its worth it.  Your ear holes will seep orgasmic fluid.

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Dispatches from the Weird s05e07

GENTLEMEN, BEHOLD!  A NEW EPISODE OF DISPATCHES FROM THE WEIRD HAS BEEN RELEASED!

In this groundbreaking, epic, devious episode of Dispatches from the Weird:

-Ben brings up Smart Phones and everyone ridicules him for it.

-In a very out of character move on this podcast, we discuss Star Trek: TNG at great length, and discuss the Character Tasha Yar, and Ben’s memories of meeting her when he was a child.  It’s gross.

-In an all new segment, we read our pre-written short stories for the first time.

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Dispatches from the Weird s05e06

This is Ben.  BY FAR, this is possible our favorite episode of Dispatches from the Weird we’ve ever recorded.  Turned out to be funnier than we ever expected it to be.  In this episode:

-Carl describes his experiences at a Nudist colony

-Ben discusses how he’s afraid to use bathroom stalls for fear that he will be murdered with his diick out

-Dan Aykroyd was right

Listen and leave us your feedback!

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Dispatches from the Weird s05e05

This is Ben.  Sorry for the delay.  The website has been down.  But the website is a now alive!  And Episode number 5 is alive.  Dispatches from the Weird Episode 5 is here to fill your ears with audible pleasuregasms.  In this episode we go LIVE on anarchy-1.org and answer listener questions, discuss creepy subcultures that exist in this world, turtle knowledge, the jaws remake starring Samuel L. Jackson, and the mystery of whats on a piece of paper.  Check it out.

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Dispatches from the Weird s05e04

This is Ben. Guess what? It’s PODCAST DAY! Ok, lame. The new pod is up. Episode 4 (season 5), contains random hilarity and possible drug fueled chaos. In this episode:

-We discuss current movie viewings and opinions.

-Richie controls the Bamboo trivia game and shames everyone.

-We discuss Ben’s performance in the new very special episode of “There’s a Problem”.

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Dispatches from the Weird s05e03

This is Ben.  Episode 3 of our amazing Podcast “Dispatches from the Weird” has been posted.  In this episode:

-Special guest Will joins us for our night of aural debauchery.

-We discuss the best of the best of the new fast food items,

-Ben spits his opinion on Michael Bay and the new Turtle movie that the internet has deemed a catastrophe,

-We once again we discuss the proper usage of toilet paper…

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Dispatches from the Weird s05e02

Hello, This is Ben.

I’m happy to announce that I am writing a post on this fancy website about the news of EPISODE 2 of Dispatches from the Weird (season 5) being posted.  EASILY the best episode of a podcast posted in recent memory.   Some of what is to be expected in this episode?  Ben informs the world about his failure in getting two turtles to fuck, Richie discusses how a Best Buy employee tried to convert him to Christianity, and the great debate about the current state of film begins.  And the trivia game finally gets a name and theme song!  So prepare for your ears to orgasm.  This shit is going to be tight.  Listen!

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Dispatches from the Weird S05e01

Rejoice!  Season 5, episode 1 of dispatches from the weird has now been released to the public.

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